


You Beautiful Circus

by McrTrashboat



Category: Fall Out Boy, Frank Iero and the Patience, Hesitant Alien - Gerard Way (Album), My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, The Used, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alcohol, Bottom Gerard Way, Drug Use, Kinks, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Top Frank Iero, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 11:14:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14591820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McrTrashboat/pseuds/McrTrashboat
Summary: Gerard Way has been homeless since he can remember, living everyday... well trying to live that is. He doesn't like asking for help and when he's offered it he has too much pride to even expect it.Now that winter is coming and Gerard has no where to stay a sign leads him to a homeless shelter where he meets a volunteer named Frank.





	1. Chapter 1

Gerard's pov

I shook uncontrollably as the cold November air picked up. My thin blanket didn't help and neither did the pieces of cardboard I had set up around me in a small fort. My back leaning against a garbage bin that kinda kept some of the cold wind out. My nose running as I sniffled and tired to find a more comfortable position to sleep. My body already hurt from the beating I got a few days ago and my ankle was still sprained from trying to run from those drunk bastards. 

Damn this cold weather and this stupid wind. I've already been through enough today, I don't wanna freeze to death either. I don't wanna be the poor homeless kid they find, frozen to death in a smelly alleyway. As the wind picked up even more I gave up trying to sleep and just sat there, shaking as I tried to stay alive. This is who it was all the time. Stay alive, don't stay in the same spot for long, keep moving.

Huffing I shakily got up, putting my blanket back into my backpack before heading out. I limped down the empty streets, trying to find a more sheltered spot for the rest of the night. Every alleyway looked too sketchy to step foot in, the sidewalk wasn't an option, and the park was a definite no, not after last time. I still have lots of bruises and a limp from last time.

The sun was coming up by the time I found a relatively safe spot near what looked like a church. I wonder what day it is today... I lost track of what day it was a year ago. After I realized none of this would get better I stoped caring. Everything I owned was in my backpack and I was just lucky enough to have the things I find in dumpsters. After a few days of airing them out they don't smell too bad. I was grateful for everything that I find. The blanket was actually my newest find. It bad a lot of holes in it but it's better than nothing.

Once I was sitting in a good spot and got comfortable, well... as comfortably as I could get I fell sleep, hoping for an hour or two.  
~~~~~

"Wake up, kid, garbage trucks are here." Someone said making me jolt awake and look around in panic. There was an older man who smiled down at my sadly. "You gotta move, kid, sorry." He said as a large truck came backing into the alley.

I nodded and stood up, making so I had everything before leaving. The man watched limp away with sympathy but I ignored him. I can take care of myself. I've done it for awhile now so I can keep doing it.

Once I got to Main Street I limped in the direction of the local library. I didn't go there for the books, I went there for the nice, warm bathrooms where I could clean myself up a bit and relax until I had to leave. The old ladies working there never noticed me because they were too busy checking out books or putting books away. They seemed to love their job so I didn't question why they loved it there.

When I got inside I went straight to the bathroom, making sure no one was around before slipping into the one big family one and locked the door behind me. Limping over to the sink I turned the hot water on to warm it up before pulled my cloths off of myself to see the damage that those drunk guys did on my body a few days ago.

My left side was an ugly yellow color. It looked like a fractured a few ribs and it felt like it too. My ankle was swollen, black, and blue. My slit lip was healing at least and my black eye was mostly gone. I took some wet paper towel and cleaned myself off the best I could and then rinsed my face off and washed my hair with the hand soap. After cleaning off I sat under the hand dryer until my hair was dry before standing up. It felt good to be a bit cleaner than normal because I haven't had a really shower in about 5 years.

I didn't look at myself in the mirror anymore and kept clear of my wrists before leaving. No one payed attention to me as I filled up my two water bottles at the fountain before leaving. My whole body protesting as I limped down the stairs and into the cold air. My body already shaking and I missed the warmth already.

Time to find some food and maybe a place to sleep for the night. If I'm lucky the old diner might've threw away the old food from the fridge. Last time I was there I got some pancakes that were still warm. That was the best day that I've had in months. My belly was filled with warm, sweet pancakes that kept me going for a week after that. I don't really eat because well... it's hard to find food that people throw away that is actually edible.

I know I'm underweight but I can't do anything about that. When I got to the diner I perked up a bit when I saw that the top was shut meaning there was food. I snuck over, looking round to make sure no one saw me before opening the top. The smell of sour smelling, bad food filled my nose making me gag a little.

Looking around a bit I found some very stale bread, an apple that was almost too bad to eat, and the rest wasn't even worth trying to get to because of all the mold.

I put the few pieces of bread inside my backpack and ate the apple before moving on. It's better than nothing.  
~~~~~

I looked up at the sky anxiously, hoping that it wouldn't snow for another week. I don't even have a place to stay because the last camp I was at kicked me out. There was a lot of old, homeless men and women that set up a camp under an overpass near the river but after they accused me of stealing their food they beat me and then kicked me out so that wasn't an option anymore.

I sighed, shivering from the cold as I walked the streets until it was dark. I knew I shouldn't have stayed out this long because now all the sketchy people came out at this time.

Looking over my shoulder I felt like someone was watching me so I picked up my pace. It wasn't that much faster before I was limping but it was faster than the slow walk I had going before. Biting my lip I heard footsteps behind me. My heart pounding as I turned the corner and hid in the alleyway a feet away.

Trying to control my breathing I listened to the footsteps pass before coming back out. This isn't a good place to stay at night. I knew this from existence. I'm so stupid for coming here. I'm gonna get myself killed.

It felt like days until it was day again and by then I was pressed up in the corner at the end of an alley. After being chased again I lost the person and was too afraid to leave my hiding spot. My eyes sting from the cold wind and I could barley feel my body. Everything hurt and I just wanted to sleep but sleep never came. My nose kept running and my breaths rattled in my chest. I think I'm getting sick. Great.


	2. Chapter 2

Gerard's pov 

My heart was hammering in my chest as three guys cornered me in an alleyway. My breaths coming out in jagged pants from all the running and because I was sick I couldn't really breathe in the first place. 

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" The one laughed, kicking me over onto my side and held me down. 

"I think we should fuck him up, show him how worthless he really is." The other laughed, slurring his words together. 

They all agreed and began kicking me. Tears and cries for them to stop left my parted lips as they kept kicking me. The beating didn't seem to stop until I stopped moving all together. My mouth tasted like blood and when they left I stayed where I was and passed out from the pain.   
~~~~~

"Are you okay?" Someone said making me jolt awake and whimper as pain shot through me in waves. My head pounding, if my ribs weren't fractured before they sure are now. "You're bleeding, do you need help?" 

I didn't say anything and stumbled to my feet, wincing in pain. My legs shaking under me and threatened to gave way any second. 

"I can call someone. You're bleeding really badly." They said but I didn't look up and shook my head before limping away. Each stop felt like my insides were getting stabbed. The person gave up after a few moments and left me alone. 

When I got to more safer roads I kept tripping over my own two feet. My were unfocus and blurry as I found a spot and just collapsed, passing out instantly.   
~~~~~  
(1 week later) 

I can't believe I'm still alive, after coughing up blood for a week straight. Dealing with a very stuffy nose and watery eyes. My ribs seemed to be healing again and my limp was basically gone. I haven't had anything to eat for four days straight but that didn't really bother me now. 

"Are you here for lunch?" Someone said behind me, making me flinch. 

I looked up at them for a second, surprised to see them smiling at me. I can't remember the last time someone smiled at me. 

"It's really good and it's nice and warm in there." He said softly. "You can stay and warm up. I think we still have some coffee left from this morning." 

Coffee... I haven't had coffee in so long. 

Looking around I realized I was in front of what looked like a homeless shelter. 

I sighed and shook my head before walking again. I don't need help, I can take care of myself. I've made it this far, I can handle myself just fine. Yeah, I don't need them. But have an actual hot meal does sound nice... No, I'm not going back. 

I made my way to the diner to see if I could find any food. My stomach aching for some food and once I got there I looked through the bin and didn't find anything I could eat. This is the fourth day in a row they didn't have anything to eat in there. 

Maybe I should go back to the shelter... I'm strong, I can do this. 

Okay, I still have a few other places I can look for food but they are all past the shelter. I can just find another way around to them. Yeah, and then I wouldn't be tempted to go inside.   
~~~~~

"I told you to get lost, kid." The owner of the restaurant snapped at me, making me flinch and nod as I backed away from him. "I don't need scum like you around here! Now leave!" He yelled. 

I flinched at his words and ran, not looking where I ran as tears began to run down my face as people yelled at me for accidentally bumping into them or they glared at me. I'm such a freak. I'm nothing but scum just like what he said. I'm worthless and a waste of space. It's my fault I'm homeless anyway.   
~~~~~

People were scream and cheering while some just stood and watched as the group of men beat me up. They were all laughing at my pathetic cries. I tried to get away from them but they caught me. They were part of one of the gangs from around here. 

"Fucking faggot!" 

"Yeah, beat his ass, Billy!" 

"Yeah!"

I was thrown to the ground again and punched repeatedly as I tried to shield my face. Men grabbed at me, some even touched me where I didn't want them to touch. I felt so dirty and broken. 

"Hey, stop! I'm calling the cops!" Someone yelled and all the men got their stuff and ran. "Oh my god, are you okay? Wait, I've seen you before." The person said, kneeling down to help me sit up. I whimpered as they moved me. I coughed, blood coming out of my mouth. "We need to get you help." 

"N-no, I-I'm okay, l-let go-go." I stammered, pushing them away weakly. They didn't stop me from standing up by myself. My vision blurry as I picked my backpack up and began limping away from the guy I saw outside the homeless shelter a few weeks ago. 

"I can help you, please. You're hurt. We have someone that's a doctor, they can patch you up and we have food and drinks." 

"I-I don't need help." I mumbled, limping away again. 

"Please, I know it's hard to ask but-" 

"I-I said no..." I said before turning the corner. 

"I'm Vic by the way!" I heard him call but I didn't look back.


	3. Chapter 3

Gerard's pov 

I shook as snow began to fall. I was hopping the snow would hold off for a few more weeks. It sounded like we were supposed to be getting a snow storm that would leave the roads backed up until they got plows out on them. I had no where to stay and I really started to regret not taking that Vic guy's offer. 

I sat under an overpass, shaking from the cold blasts of wind that would bring snow with it. I couldn't feel my body at this point because it's so cold. I haven't had anything to eat in days, my head hurt so much I felt like it was being crushed, and I haven't slept in god knows how long. 

I rubbed my hands together, trying to warm them up a bit but it didn't work. At this point I'll probably freeze to death before morning. Maybe it's for the best... I stole razor blades from stores to cut myself with, no one cares about me, and I highly doubt anyone would care if I die now. I'm a fucking mess. Wow, 17 years old and my life is going to end here. 

"Move it, kid, this place is mine." A man growled a few feet away making me jump. 

"O-oh..." I squeaked, watching other men come up behind him. All of them homeless like me and I didn't want to stay around to find out anything else about them. 

I shakily got to my feet and stumbled away as fast as I could. My muscles protesting as I kept moving, trying to find a place to stay for the night that I probably wouldn't even live through. My teeth chattering and my whole body shaking uncontrollably. 

I never believed in a God and I never praised before but... if there is a God... please let me live through this storm. 

After a good hour of searching I found an alleyway that had a lot of cardboard boxes in it. My hands were too cold to function properly but I managed to get the boxes up and around me, sheltering me from the wind. My back pressed up against a brick wall to some building. 

Okay, Gerard, just keep yourself alive. I've made it this far.   
~~~~~

If I didn't eat something soon I'll end up passing out from lack of food. It's been about two weeks of looking around alleyways with still no luck. The diner's dumpster has a lock on it now and the rest of the places I go to never have food I can actually eat without the very high chance of getting sick. I already felt a fever settling over my body but I chose to ignore it like always. 

I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

My mind was set into full panic mode when I noticed I couldn't feel my legs at all now. I think I'm getting hyperthermia. I need to find somewhere warmer, safer, less outside... 

The homeless shelter!

No, I can't go there. I've never asked for help and I'm not gonna start now.   
~~~~~

"Are you alright?" Someone said behind me making me flinch and look around in confusion. "You've been standing there for awhile, man." 

My eyes focused on the guy talking to me. He was really tall, a big, warm looking jacket wrapped around him as he stared at me with concern. 

"Oh... s-sorry..." I mumbled, ducking my head as I turned to leave but he stopped me. 

"You look lost. Do you know where you are?" 

"Yeah..." I mumbled, blinking my eyes slowly. Where am I?

"Oh my god, you must be freezing. Do you have a place to stay, kid?" The man asked, eyeing the holes in my thin jacket and my worn jeans. 

"No..." I mumbled, my brain feeling all fuzzy as I kept talking. Three weeks without much food really did a number on me. 

"The homeless shelter is a block away. I could help you there." He said with a smile. "I was just heading there myself. I'm Dallon." 

He gently rested his hand on my shoulder and led me down the street, my legs barely holding me up as he led me down the street. When we got to the entrance my legs gave out, Dallon catching me before I could fall. 

"Oh my god, I need help!" He called as he dragged me in. "Keep your eyes open, you'll be okay." He said, shaking me a bit but it was too late, my eyes sliding shut as I was swept into the darkness that felt so warm and safe.   
~~~~~

"He'll be okay, his blood pressure is very low. When he's awake just make sure he eats and rests." 

"Thank you so much." 

I whimpered, curling in on myself when I felt someone touching my forehead. 

I'm alive? Wait, where am I?

Opening my eyes slowly I looked around, flinching when I noticed the two men standing next to me. 

"You're awake." Dallon said with a smile and reached out to touch me but I moved away, feeling soft, warm blankets around me. "It's okay, I won't hurt you." 

"W-where a-am I?" I stuttered out in fear. What if they were men from the gangs? What if they kill me?!

"The homeless shelter. You pasted out a few hours ago so I brought you into the office to warm up. Do you remember anything?" Dallon asked gently, sitting down in a chair next to the bed. 

"Just get some rest and eat, you're lucky to be alive, kid." The other man said before leaving. 

Dallon and I sat in silence for a few moments before I moved to the other side of the bed, away from Dallon and slowly stood up. 

"You have to rest, kid, you heard what the doctor said. I have some coffee and soup for you. It'll warm you up."

"N-no thank you." I said softly and shakily walked over to were I saw my jacket and backpack. 

"It's a blizzard out there, kid, you can stay here until it blows over." Dallon said and stood up, holding out a mug of coffee. It smelled so good and my stomach growled loudly when I saw the food on the bedside table. He smiled at me warmly and stepped a bit closer making me take a step back. 

"I-I'm okay, t-thank you f-for h-helping me." I mumbled and was about to pull my jacket on when my legs shoot even more and gave out, Dallon catching me before I could fall just like last time. 

"Please just stay until the storm is over. No one will bother you here. I'll get you some more food, just relax and eat up." Dallon said, getting me back into bed. I couldn't gather the courage to say no to him again so I just stayed silent. 

It was warm in here and there is food... maybe I can stay here for a little bit, just until the storm is over.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it and sorry for any errors


End file.
